New Journey

Congratulations to me! I was accepted into Pacific College of Health and Science’s Acupuncture and Herbology program. This is a masters degree program with full accreditation to become an Acupuncturist. 

2022 a selfie taken from inside my art classroom.

So how did an art teacher, mwa, start to look into and eventually decide to do a major career pivot into acupuncture? Actually it’s not as big of a shift as you might think. 

Art, what is art and why is it important? Well for that we have to delve deep into the lives of the artists we have come to celebrate. Frida Kahlo is one of my favorite artists. My ex husband used to joke that if she was still alive he would seek her out and make her his girlfriend. And why not? Her artwork is gorgeous and she had the heart of a lion. Frida’s life was plagued with suffering: chronic pain, surgeries, major life adjustments that left her on a different career path. Frida wanted to become a doctor, and after a bus accident left her bed bound she turned inward and started to paint her experience. 

Art is healing, art is the path out of suffering. For Frida Kahlo she used art to express her feelings of pain, to get them out of her into the external world. She also painted portraits of those she loved and cared about the most, her family and loved ones. She painted the beauty of the world, the mindful moments caught in her mind and expressed onto the canvas for all to share. Art is a living expression of mediation, peace, and spiritual awakening. 

Intuitive Painting for the Subtle Body Yoga retreat developed and taught by Jodi Sibilia ‘Yoga by the Lake’ 2022

When I was teaching in the classroom I felt compelled to teach students that art was a friend that would never leave them, it would be there in the darkest of times, their own expressions able to heal, uplift, and bring them peace when the world felt too big and heavy. 

So many of the people I meet on a daily basis are struggling, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I can feel their pain, attuned to the energy they are presenting. I know that art is one of the greatest healers, a great relief providing balm that everyone can access at any time, and I want to do more to help those on their journey. 

Yoga is my method of practice to connect myself to my spiritual/ higher self. I practice with my students in the wellness center and nourish my personal practice. I study, learn, read, express, paint, photograph and try to embody the philosophies of yoga in each moment of my life. I wholeheartedly know that I will find through acupuncture, the philosophies and studies of Chinese medicine and using natural herbs to rebalance the body another piece of a wellness journey to aid myself and others with. 

Yoga by the Lake, outside classes by the lake 2022

In short this is a new and abundant chapter in my life. I am nervous, as all fledglings are before they fly from the nest and trust their own wings to support them. When we start to ask ourselves what we ‘know’ it is listening to the true self, the internal compass that points to our truth. I know that this time post COVID in this world that is in flux and trying to balance and heal, we will seek the knowledge of our ancestors, hold to ancient healing practices and connect to our source energy to guide us.  

I welcome the new journey and I am excited to share the winding path. 

So I did

‘So much has changed’ an understatement for the year 2020. This time last year I was in my marital home, in a different job, my a horse and two cats alive and well, teaching yoga classes out of my studio. 

12 months, 365 days ago. That is a blink of an eye, a drop in a bucket. Where we’re you on your life path a year ago?

Transformation and rising to the challenge has been the theme of this year. I have found foot holds, and small caves to rest in during the metaphorical rock face mountain climb- grateful for each moment of pause and self-reflection. 

I am what my therapist would call a ’surviver’. It sounds glamorous… It isn’t. My primary way of dealing with situations is to ‘survive them’. That means I shed things, people, and places quickly, loosening my burdens or responsibilities in order to survive.  

Imagine you are floating in a little boat on the ocean. It is a calm and beautiful day. You have everything you love and need with you on your boat. Then, all of a sudden, a storm kicks up. To survive the storm, my first reaction is to start throwing things overboard. <— welcome to my shadow work.

This year was important for me to experience because it forced to me face some of my truths about my ‘survivalist’ mentality. 

The first truth; I was raised in isolation. The woods, birds, and frogs were my friends. I grew up making imagination my playmate. I would take to the woods, the fields of the farm, and the comfort of my own companionship to overcome my loneliness. 

When the pandemic hit my county and we shut down, I was scared, as we all were, I sank deep into my childhood experience. The isolation reminded me of my youth, at 4 years old, wondering around in wooded groves, talking to wild animals, allowing stillness and solidarity to be my kinfolk. 

I was was born to overcome isolation while making friends with it. 

The second truth; No one said ‘I love you’ growing up. There were no hugs or kisses, no comforting cuddles when I fell or scuffed my knee outside. I wasn’t told I was beautiful, smart, or kind. I didn’t have any sort of role models for how to help others feel respected, nurtured, or loved. Diminishment of self and being the preverbal doormat was how I was raised to behave to ‘fit into’ society.  Be quite, do what they say, and take my punches without flinching. I have given many years of my life to making others feel more comfortable with my presence, to be small and of service. Like many women and girls, I was brought up to fit into a box that a man would find appealing.

During COVID, I isolated in the Catskills, with limited internet and no TV, I was sitting with myself a lot. No distractions. In that time I sunk, like many of us did, giving into a certain level of fear and the question of ‘What will become of me now?’. That is when I took to the yoga mat, I meditated, prayed, and stared out the window at the early spring days, when night came I stared at my own reflection asking the universe ‘What now?’ it answered…’Focus on yourself.’ 

So I did. 

The third truth; through my suffering as a child I learned who I was as a person, my truth. I learned that I cannot control anyone else but myself. I learned how to survive my situations. I learned the value of my own thought and that my power frightens weak people. 

When we went into ‘lockdown’ I had to make a choice on how I was going to navigate the whole experience. I wrote down steps, changing how I would ‘survive’ to how I would ‘THRIVE’ during the pandemic. I wrote down several things that I would do every day or week to THRIVE in the situation. 

Some examples were to do my yoga, sit in nature, write and do my artwork every day… also to connect with another person, begin a search for a romantic partner who wanted to be on this journey with me. 

So I did the unthinkable. After sifting through my work in isolation, focusing on myself, and actively manifesting how I want to feel with a new life partner- I started dated, for the first time in 7 years, during a global pandemic. 

From this experience I learned that affirmation doesn’t really care who you are, but what you think and feel regularly, and it will, without a single doubt, manifest your thoughts again and again without fail into the physical world. 

The pandemic brought me a gift, the ability too see every situation as an opportunity. 

An opportunity to learn, reconnect with myself, love when it is hard or scary, trust the process and myself, trust in my feelings, respect myself, and dive deep into my shadow.  It gave me the opportunity to accept loss, grieve completely and fully, accept what I cannot change, and to grow as a person. 

So, where am I at the end of 2020?  

For me it feels like the best is yet to come, there are so many wonderful things to look forward to.  My third eye is open, my heart is full and my mind is ready. I feel confident and strong in my abilities going into the next year, this next phase of things. 

I wish you peace and deep self love for the new year. My hope for you is to walk in your life knowing that every situation is an opportunity, and that you are not alone in the journey.